This infinitely recyclable can of sparkling mountain water came straight from the Alps to murder your thirst. Our proprietary Thirst Murdering process begins with Liquid Death forming a rope of veins that will wrap around your thirst’s head and strangle it. Once Liquid Death reaches your thirst’s brain, all of your thirst’s memories will be replaced with repeating loops of its own head imploding. Which is exactly what happens next by it causing your thirst’s head to implode and its brain to squirt out of its ears. Once your thirst has been murdered, the soul of your thirst will begin to escape and float towards the ceiling. At this point, drink a second sip of Liquid Death to stop its soul from escaping and force it to begin glueing its own body parts together so that it can crawl back inside you and eventually grow into a fully formed thirst once again.
